My Flood Ladies

Somehow we were all free this weekend. Somehow, someway, we found two days in the middle of busy seasons of busy lives to all be in the same place. Somehow, it was like no time had passed.

lil baby freshmen

We’ve officially been out of college for the same amount of time we were in college. That’s so crazy to me. College was so much – so much life, so much growth, so many things, all wrapped up in four years. These past four years of life have seemed like a lot, too, but also, somehow, not as much. They don’t feel equal, they don’t feel quite the same.

This weekend was a mix of catching each other up on everything we’ve missed and also reliving everything we were a part of. I forget how much these girls saw me through, how much we walked alongside each other, how much life happened. When I think of college it’s easy to remember the big moments – it’s somehow easy to overlook the 4 ladies who I saw every Tuesday, who made a community out of nothing, who chose to show up week after week and simply just be there. Read More

A Year of Growth or a Year of Going Nowhere?

Ive always felt weird about new years resolutions. Partly because no one sticks to them, partly because they are cliche, partly because, at least in Southern California, they are typically body image related. Making a list at the beginning of a 365 day mark seems strange to me.

It seems useless, if I’m being honest. (And I love lists.)

But I’ve always loved end of year reflections – looking back on the past year, dreaming of the new one. Not focussing on what you’ve done wrong thus far in life, and how to correct yourself in the new year – but seeking out some growth areas. Maybe that is exactly what new years resolutions are, and you’re rolling your eyes at me for being the most annoying kind of hipster. Whatever. Read More

A Year Ago…

A year ago, I never thought I’d be back here. Going on three days of not sleeping, trying to figure out my hair’s newest texture – figuring out a new normal as my body and thyroid battle it out once again. A war I thought was over. Now a seemingly never ending battle.

My dad got para-thyroid surgery a few weeks ago. Soon we’ll have matching scars on our neck; our health problems slightly different while our age of diagnosis makes all the difference. This holiday season I realized you can be mad about the disease or thankful for the medicine. Mad about the genetic lottery you seemingly lost or thankful for winning some kind of birthright lottery that landed you in a country with modern technology. Mad over what feels unfairly taken or thankful over what feels unfairly given. Read More

Turning 25

I lost a lot of weight this year.

Which feels funny to type, as it’s currently the holiday season and my clothes are fitting a biiiiiit tight. It’s also a week after my birthday (I have a whole 7 days of being 25 under my belt!) and a few days after my party. And I’ve been reflecting on how different I’m feeling than this time last year.

24 started out rough for me. It’s been a healing year, thankfully. But the healing came after the pain – old wounds, reopened, in order to heal properly this time around. Sometimes the surgeons have to go back in, to re-fix the same old problem. Sometimes wounds get infected, without proper care. Sometimes the sickness just keeps coming back, no matter how many remedies you’ve tried. But the good news? Healing is possible. Healing is worth fighting for. Read More

Back When I Graduated…

Although wedding season is about to consume my life (hi, 5 weddings in one summer. This feels like deja vu…) for a quick second my world has revolved around another kind of celebration: graduations.

As I was planning Flood Youth’s senior night (easy) and processing the fact that my girls are graduating (much more difficult), I kept thinking back to senior Krysti. Little, naive, thought-she-knew-it-all, senior Krysti. Facebook was so kind as to remind me of my senior night at my youth group, seemingly a life time ago.

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I still remember it. I still remember being the last to be called on stage. I still remember some of the words my youth pastor spoke over me – making fun of my obsession with mylifeisaverage.com but ending with, “Your life is far from average”. I remember the 5 of us –  together since middle school! – each so different, each heading somewhere so different. And now, looking at the picture, realizing with a smile we really did end up all over the place. Different corners of the globe, figuratively and literally. I remember it so well, which made me stop and think about where my students will be years from now, as they think back onto their senior night. What will have changed? How will they have grown? What will still be exactly the same? Read More

Less Shame. More Living.

New years used to come with New Year’s Resolutions, anyone remember that? Yet I’m finding less and less people are into resolutions these days – it’s all about goals and dreams and the like. The really, really hip thing this year is having “a word” for 2016. I’m not quite sure if this is Reddit popular or simply just a Christian millennial thing – but its definitely a thing. I’m not knocking it or anything, because I jumped on the band wagon.

I asked God for “a word” for the next 365 days ….and I got 4. Blame it on my chronic overachieving, the fact that I’m a writer by nature, or God’s sense of humor – the fact is, I asked for one and I got quadruple the amount. Trust me, I tried. “God. I need a word. Like, one. Not four. Not two. But one, single word for 2016 – to focus on and write on my mirror and maybe turn into a cool tattoo one day. One word!” No, He reminded me gently, what you need is Me. Also, you need to listen. 
[He has this conversation a lot with me.] Read More

Dressember 14: Construction Cones & Healing Zones

For the month of December – in honor of Dressember – I’ll be blogging everyday! Thoughts on anything from fighting for justice to feminism, from dresses I’m wearing to books I’m reading, and everything in between. 


 

Construction typically means bad traffic, gross smells, and unwelcome loud noises. All of these were part of my morning, as they are repaving (I think?) the main road by my house. Everything was pushed over to one lane, there were confusing cones everywhere so I wasn’t sure where I could turn, and it was unpleasantly loud. I’m typically not a fan of construction, but today it held something it usually doesn’t: a life lesson. Read More