Big Friendship, Big Love & Big Grief

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I’ve never really been into Valentine’s Day.

Well, I should clarify, romantically. I am all for fake holidays. I have been known to throw National Cookie Day parties and celebrate National Ice Cream day like the holiday deserves. So Valentine’s has always been a good excuse to buy chocolate (50% off the next day!), send friends cutesy, punny, ridiculous cards that are targeted for children, and obviously celebrate my gals like Leslie Knope taught us. Even the times I happened to have a boyfriend for the occasion, February 14th felt the same as July 17th or November 3rd. In my book, you never need an excuse for a cute card or surprise chocolate. That happens year round.

 

But this year I found myself ordering Valentine’s Day gifts a month ahead of time. I planned an epic galentines (guys and girls!) virtual Netflix party, complete with the same snacks from Target being delivered to all our doors. I scoured Etsy to find the perfect chocolate treat to show up on my friend’s porch. I venmoed some of my favorite ladies a surprise coffee-on-me Saturday morning surprise. Valentine’s, this year, felt as exciting as Christmas.

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When Your Friends’ Lives Change, but Yours Stay the Same

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We were sitting on the couch, three in a row; two of us looking over her shoulder as she browsed her laptop. She was looking for post maternity clothes, and I couldn’t help but think back to three years ago when we were sitting in the same formation on a different couch, looking over her shoulder as she searched for the color of bridesmaid dresses she wanted us to wear.

These friends have gone through so much with me, and I have gone through so much with them. I’ve walked through engagement and wedding planning with them both. Trying to offer advice and insight but also keeping my mouth shut a bit – what did I know about engagement rings? Fast forward to now and I was holding her newborn, giving mama’s arms a much deserved break and offering color choices – you wear a lot of gray, how about that that stripped one?? – but also trying to keep my mouth shut a bit. What do I know about nursing tanks?friends-lives-change

Life gets funny, when your friends start to enter very different life stages at very different times. When we met, it was all so easy. We were all in college. We were all at the same college. We met up on Monday nights because none of us has class, we lived within a 2 mile radius of each other (and that felt far!), we texted the afternoon of to see what groceries we all had to contribute to our hodgepodge meal that evening. We turned 21, all in a row. We graduated college, all in a row. But suddenly one of us was engaged, which was exciting and new. And then two of us were in relationships and, before you knew it, it was me plus two married couples.

(Now it’s 6 adults and a baby. Our little group grew, as families tend to do.) Read More

How to Adult

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Life has been a bit of a whirlwind, lately. It’s been a no-sleep, going-going-going, wait-what-day-is-it?! constant. And in the midst of the crazy, a friend said the sweetest words to me the other day – the kind of “I didn’t know I needed that, but wow I needed that” unexpected goodness that soothes your soul a bit. We were catching up and she said, “Hey, I know you – and you’re doing the best you can.”

 

One of the most beautiful things to me is being known by my People. I spent a whole lot of my life guarded – even to those closest to me – and the past few years have been a lot of un-doing, a lot of breaking down walls brick by brick. When people know me, it still catches me off guard. It still stops me in my tracks a bit. It still overwhelms me, in the best way.

Everyone tells you life after college is hard, and mostly it’s because friendships after college are hard. When I first heard about this, I laughed at the post college blues. Ha. Whatever. Not gonna happen to me.

But last year two of my favorite people moved up north. That sucked.
This summer, my best friend moved across the country. That really sucked.
Then a few weeks ago, I hugged another friend goodbye. And I’m realizing this is an unfortunate trend. One I don’t like – but one I can’t stop. Read More

My Flood Ladies

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Somehow we were all free this weekend. Somehow, someway, we found two days in the middle of busy seasons of busy lives to all be in the same place. Somehow, it was like no time had passed.

lil baby freshmen

We’ve officially been out of college for the same amount of time we were in college. That’s so crazy to me. College was so much – so much life, so much growth, so many things, all wrapped up in four years. These past four years of life have seemed like a lot, too, but also, somehow, not as much. They don’t feel equal, they don’t feel quite the same.

This weekend was a mix of catching each other up on everything we’ve missed and also reliving everything we were a part of. I forget how much these girls saw me through, how much we walked alongside each other, how much life happened. When I think of college it’s easy to remember the big moments – it’s somehow easy to overlook the 4 ladies who I saw every Tuesday, who made a community out of nothing, who chose to show up week after week and simply just be there. Read More

Surviving Post Wedding Season

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As weddings have taken up so much of my life lately, I figured maybe they should take up a lot of my blog as well. Here’s a special wedding season series – some questions I get asked (or ones I don’t), some things I survived, some truths I’ve been learning. And, an extra bonus: one very special wedding!

I get asked all. the. things. during wedding season. But I think there’s something that we fail to talk about as all your friends get married: the transition your relationships go through.

My friends, once committed girlfriends, are now wives. They have husbands. Some things stay very much the same, yet other parts are forever different. As someone who has never gone through that specific transition, sometimes it’s a little strange to walk through it with them. How do you travel alongside a path you aren’t on? Other times it’s frustrating to walk together – as we seem to be heading two different directions.
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