Because of RHE

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It’s weird to mourn the death of someone you’ve never met.

It’s weird to be so sad over the loss of someone who you’ve never shared words with… but whose words you hold so dear. A friend put it best, after the tragic passing of Rachel Held Evans this weekend – writers feel like mentors. Their words matter to us, their lives feel intertwined with ours. Their joy, our joy. Their pain, our pain. Their death… it’s unimaginable.

It feels unfair. It feels unjust. A women so godly – surely, God would heal? A woman so prayed for, surely God would answer the prayers of thousands across the world? She had so much more work to do. She had babies to raise. She had a marriage to see age. She had conferences to plan and people to mentor and – selfishly – she had more books to write for people like me to read. She had thoughts that still needed sharing, words still in her our world needed to hear. Read More

Christmas Presence

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It’s finals week and I can barely remember what day it is. What time it is. I have 0 groceries and pretty sure I’ve spent more time at the library than I have at home. It’s been a blur of carrying my backpack to one library to another to a coffee shop, just to dump it on the floor and sleep for a bit before the next round. People ask me what I did last Friday and I stare at them blankly because, what is Friday? When was that? Who is that? Huh?

I had to say no to 5 Christmas parties this past weekend. I’ve had to say no to SO many things, so many people. I’m so ready to not have to respond with, “Can’t, I have to study” and “Ah, I’ll be at the library” or “Wish I could, but I have school!”. I’m so ready to sit with people and not be thinking about all the precious minutes of studying I’m missing out on. So ready to not pack up 4 different bags in the morning, with 3 different meals, and 2 additional layers. I’m ready for this semester to be done. Read More

Sunrise, Sunset & Staying for the Exhale

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I spend a lot of my life waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I’ve realized this, lately. That whenever something good comes around, I’m just waiting for the bad to come with it. When there’s an exciting new beginning, I can almost see the bittersweet ending around the corner. I’m a firm believer in “if it seems too good to be true, it probably is” – except that, to me, any form of good seems too good. Any kind of happiness seems like it can’t possibly last. Any unexpected sweetness can’t be trusted.

Maybe it’s the result of getting sick as a teenager. Maybe it’s my reaction to certain life events. Maybe it’s part of being an Enneagram 5. Maybe it’s simply how I’m wired. In all honesty, it’s a probably a combination of all of the above and then some. I’m slow to trust people, but I’m even slower to trust life. Read More

Open Hands

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I’ve learned when you start grad school in your mid-20s, everyone wants to know why. They want to know what’s next. They want to know your end goal.

Seminary is great and all, but what do you want to do when you graduate??

It’s the same thing when you’re a writer and suddenly find yourself networking with other writers and creatives. So, where are you headed? What are you working towards? What’s the dream?

Which are great questions and all. Except I have no idea. Read More

Soo, Why Seminary?

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It was a Sunday afternoon, and I was getting ready to teach a workshop on breaking up in the Church.

The previous Thursday, I had a piece published on why the Church needs to start getting political.

On Monday, I was about to start seminary.

It was a whirlwind weekend, to be sure. A seemingly random assortment of events to all land on top of each other, 3 out of the blue things to be happening in my life. Except that, as I was reflecting on their randomness that Sunday afternoon, the Spirit whispered, “Haven’t you been paying attention?” Read More

When the Light at the End of the Tunnel Isn’t Close Enough

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Sometimes I find myself at the super yogi yoga classes at my studio. They talk about your third eye and grounding stones and the different chakras of the body. When they talk about the throat chakra, they focus on stretching various parts of your neck. Sometimes they have us do things that “will massage your thyroid”.

When this happens, I usually laugh to myself. Thyroid. Ha. I don’t have one of those! This week, I started crying. Read More

I Don’t Have All the Answers

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I’ve always found it strange the people most open to other points of view – most accepting of other religions, ideas, or world views – have never been Christians.

The people most likely to support tolerance, who preach acceptance in their everyday actions, haven’t been followers of Christ.

And yet the most divisive, judgmental, exclusive people I know all claim to be members of the Church. The ones who automatically deem a view wrong because it is different than their own apparently follow the same Jesus I do. The people who condemn freely and extend grace selectively apparently adhere to the same gospel as I.

Maybe you’ve had different experiences.

But this is what I know. Read More

Just a List of Complaints

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If you thought this was a catchy click bait title that sneakily was something other than really, truly a list of complaints – I’m sorry. This is the maybe one time I am being 100% literal. (Note to everyone still yelling at me over Christian Men in Tank Tops: please Google “satire”, thank you.)

In church on Sunday we were talking about how to go from “hurt” to “hallelujah”; how we get from “horrible” to “hallelujah”. It was a beautiful, inspiring message that I’m not going to attempt to summarize because, dang. You had to be there. Lucky for you it’s 2017, and it will be online for your viewing pleasure soon (heyyyy diveintoflood.com).

We were challenged with the idea of complaining – with confidence in Christ. As in, we need to be okay with complaining. We need to call it like it is, admit life isn’t always rainbow and sunshine. We need to bring honesty to God just as easily as we bring praises. Buuut we also need to do so with confidence in who Christ is. We need to complain knowing the fullness of the God we serve, the goodness He promises. Read More

Why Women Should Preach, as Explained by Wonder Woman

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This post contains zero spoilers of the new Wonder Woman movie except that (totally non-spoiler) IT’S BEYOND WONDERFUL. You should go see it. Like, right now.

I know nothing about comics. I know nothing about DC versus Marvel. I have, maybe, seen half of the fifty super hero movies that have come out within the last ten years. Probably closer to five, but who’s counting? So maybe the new Wonder Woman movie broke all the rules or maybe everything I was blown away by is common knowledge – I wouldn’t know. All I do know is this: I loved it.

I loved the diversity I saw within the first five minutes. I loved the diversity I saw throughout the rest of the movie. I loved the clever one liners. I loved the subtle and not so subtle references to the ways men do things and the way Wonder Woman crashed right through those walls (literally and figuratively). I especially loved getting to see a woman save the day, seeing a woman in the leading role of an action movie, seeing a caring, compassionate, intelligent and gorgeous woman kick ass. Read More