The Question of Online Dating

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I still remember the day my best friend and I were hanging out, complaining about dating and boys and life in general, when we decided we were gonna go for it: download a dating app.

We did it at the same time, clicking through the questions and giggling as we were trying to figure out what to put in our profiles, what pictures to use, sifting through a world of unknown. How old am I willing to date? How young? Do I put something about Jesus in my profile, or is clicking “Christian” enough? That whole week we were texting each other screen shots of awkward conversations, updating each other on how it was going. The first time I tried online dating, I found it to be incredibly freeing. Read More

How Do I Make Myself Attractive & When Can I Ask Them Out?

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Pinky out, because I’m a classy donut eater.

Donuts

#2 out of 4: Mary’s Donuts 

If you’ve ever been to Santee you know that, basically, there’s no reason to really ever go to Santee. Until you stumble across this gem, and then OHMYGOSH you want to go to Santee all the time. Whenever I’m in the city limit I basically make it a necessity. If I’m ever close to the city limit, I cross over the city limit, and, thus, have to go to Mary’s. Obviously.

Classic donuts, fun inventive donuts, award winning donuts annnnnd donuts as big as your face. Plus fun pictures of customers from over the past 40ish (I think?) years plastered evvvverywhere. And really good chocolate milk. This place has it all.

Dating

“How do I make myself attractive to a guy/girl? (In a good way)”

I honestly loved one of our panelists suggestions to guys: learn the value of personal hygiene. Preferably, wash your towels. There’s so many tips these days on how to make yourself more attractive – either off the cover of a magazine at the grocery store or in Christianese 101. Lose 10 pounds. Memorize Proverbs. Try this new eyeliner. Volunteer on Sundays. I’d say drop the act, and follow two generic rules: Read More

How to Date with Intention & When to End Things

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Sadly, this isn’t me at Rose – as I was stalking my own Instagram I discovered just how many pictures with donuts I have (who’s surprised?) – but this IS me with my brother enjoying Mighty-O Donuts in Seattle!

Donuts

#3 out of 4: Rose Donuts

  1. Delicious
  2. Open 24/7
  3. Down the street from a Ballast Point (if donut & beer pairings are your thing… which, they should be)
  4. Deeeeeelicious

Dating

As I’ve said before, you need to know what you’re looking for when dating. Obviously, the process of dating helps you narrow down and define what, exactly, you are looking for – but if you have no idea whatsoever, dating is probably going to be a shit show for ya (just being honest). What type of person are you looking for, but also what are you looking for – a marriage partner, a companion for the next few months, someone fun to spend Friday night with? Figure this out before you find yourself sitting down one on one with that cutie you’ve been eyeing, I promise you won’t regret it.

“We are told to date with intention, what does that mean??”

In Christianese, “dating with intention” typically means dating someone you can see yourself marrying, dating solely with the end goal of marriage, or simply: dating to marry. These things aren’t bad, but it does put a lot of pressure on dating relationships – especially in the early stages. We get nervous about knowing if we want to marry them – right away. We stress over everything “dating purposefully” entails, terrified of wasting our time or doing anything without thinking through the purpose of it. We worry far too much about who is the spiritual head in the relationship (psst – it should be both of you). Read More

Exes & Emotional Boundaries

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Donuts

#4 out of 4: Sunny’s Donuts

Conveniently by my church offices – aka a necessary pitstop after youth group – this place is open TWENTY FOUR HOURS. Because Jesus loves us. Let’s not talk about how often I’ve been here post midnight or anything – let’s just talk about how wonderful it is a standard donut shop exists with all your classic favs any time you want them. (Literally, any time)

Also, fun transition into dating: I once was craving donuts and the boy I was texting at the time offered to come pick me up and take me to Sunny’s. He mentioned how it was cute I used donuts as a way to flirt with him; I decided not to tell him I was actually just really, really craving donuts and would have made the trip with or without him…

Dating

“Can I be friends with my ex? Facebook friends??”

This is one of those rules of dating – don’t be friends with your ex – where there is always that one exception that makes you want to break the rule. But as we all learned in He’s Just Not that Into You: you are the rule, not the exception.

Can you be friends with your ex? Maybe. It depends on how long the relationship was, how serious the relationship was, and how the relationship ended. Anything under 3 months? You have a better chance at being friends. Did you kiss? Probably going to be awkward trying to be just friends (crossing the line from friend zone into dating is pretty easy, backtracking from dating into friend zone is rough). Did you drop the L word?? No, no, no. Read More

Donuts & Dating

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I recently got the chance to speak on a panel at my church’s college group all about dating and relationships. The night was entitled “Donuts & Dating” which caused more than one friend to ask me, “Did they name this night in your honor…?!”

One of my favorite things and one thing I happen to write about… a lot. It did seem pretty fitting. I am a self-proclaimed donut expert, and well known enthusiast, after all.

It was so fun getting to speak on a subject I talk about all the time, but typically to the public internet of strangers and not in front of real people. It was also so fun to speak alongside the panelists – 3 other people who I respect and admire. Also, ironically, 3 married people – so it was me and three marrieds discussing dating. Totally normal. Read More