I’ve read one too many blogs on yoga pants and women (especially Christian women), so I decided Christian men and tank tops should be treated in the same manner…

Dear Christian men in tank tops,

I understand that they might be comfortable. I understand they might be made out of really soft material. I understand that – in some circles – they might be seen as trendy right now. I understand that, given the weather, they just really make the most sense right now. I even understand it may be laundry day anddddd it’s the last thing clean. But what I don’t understand? Why you think this is about you.

**cropped to not show the full arm, in hopes of protecting my fellow sisters**

Because, Christian men in tank tops, this clearly isn’t about you or your comfort or your autonomy. I can’t fathom how you would possibly think that – we’re talking your body and your clothing choices. Why would that involve you? Clearly this is about us.  

Because we – the Christian women – are who matter here. We are the ones who have to see your tank tops. We are the ones who have to walk by them, be near them, maybe even need to talk to you while you’re wearing them.

What do you expect of us?! I can’t avert my eyes, when your arms are so obviously in my field of vision. I can’t stop myself from thinking impure thoughts, as you are so clearly leading me to do. I can’t go on living my life like normal because – hello – there is now a man in a tank top in my vicinity. We’re emotional creatures, after all. We simply don’t have the strong logic of males, which allows for self control. We can’t possibly think of anything else once a tank top man walks by. Its not our fault; it’s how we’re wired.

And do we even need to talk about the men who think they’re in shape enough to wear tank tops…. but actually aren’t? You bet we need to talk about them, because there are so many of you! Why? If you don’t have the body of Brad Pitt or Chris Hemsworth or – let’s just be real – the photoshopped images I see on magazine covers, how can you even go near a tank top? Aren’t you embarrassed to even think about tank tops? Maybe you should just go to the gym every time you consider wearing a tank top, and in, like, 3 years you might be tank top worthy. Maybe. The scales are always changing.

Speaking of the gym, I know you might now be thinking – but what about there?? What if the tank top in question is really exercise clothes, what if you simply wear it to the gym and promise to change right after? Guys – we’ve been over this. This isn’t about your comfort; this is about women. We, too, go to the gym – we have a right to distraction free exercise, right?? Or what if you stop at Starbucks on the way home – think of the women  you might run into there. Think about all the possible women you might encounter in your so-called “work out clothes”, and think again about your outfit choice.

Better yet, think of all the married women you might see while in your tank top! Do you really want to be the kind of man who makes married women stumble?? Shame. Shame on you and your tank tops. Think of the broken marriages, the children, the pain – all from your tank tops. All from your selfishness.

Don’t even get me started on tank tops AND TATTOOS. Lord have mercy. Avert your eyes, ladies.

There is responsibility in purity, of course. That responsibility is yours. It’s called the responsibility to think while getting dressed – think of every single female you might encounter today, think of their needs, think of how you can make their life easier. Don’t think for a second about you, your needs for the day, or your comfort; as Christians, we’re called to think of others, after all.

Look, I’m just being honest here. You should really be thanking me, for how honest and vulnerable – me! a woman! – I am being right now, writing to you. I could go on and let you live in sin, but I care about you. I could go on and let women lust over you, but I care about the community of Christ. I could go on and pretend like I don’t have eyes and a sex drive – but, you know what? I care. Isn’t that kind of me? I’m seeing a problem and I’m letting you know how to fix it. I’m creating a solution and putting it in your hands!!! (…and the weight of it on your shoulders)

You’re welcome.

Really, you’re welcome.

Did I mention how kind it is of me to have this awkward conversation with you?? I just care. I care so much. You’re welcome about that, too.

Sincerely,

Your struggling sister in Christ

Long sleeves forever, please. (preferably with a Bible in hand at all times.)

121 thoughts on “Dear Christian Men in Tank Tops

  1. I have one question you’re talking about men wearing tank tops but you’re wearing a tank top in the top picture I don’t get it

  2. I’m, like, a few months late in commenting on this post, but hey, what can I do? I just found it!
    I just want to do a shout out to all the men and women in these comments who stood up against the idea that people should just back off the modesty issue. THANK YOU for supporting modesty! I KNOW that the person (whether male OR female) who lusts is entirely responsible for his/her sin. Sin is a personal issue and not to be excused by pointing a finger to the object of your lust, whether male or female, for God will hold us accountable for our own sin at judgement day, however much we may blame it on others’ lack of clothing. And, note, this does apply to both males and females. Both have sex drives, but I think the problem many people had when dealing with this issue stems from the fact that both have sex drives, both can be stimulated visually, but each gender has drives that are – inherently – slightly different in nature.
    That being said, I believe modesty IS an issue, and, furthermore, it is an issue for both genders. God instituted clothing after the Fall, and He specifically made it to cover Adam and Eve and their newly-acquired shame of nakedness. Now, there’s a lot more that could be said on that, but for time’s sake I will not. What is modest clothing? I’ve heard it said that clothing that is modest serves as a frame for your face. Where on your body are you attracting people’s eyes by the clothes you wear? And this is not only a concern because of the potential lust of others. As Christians, we are called to point others to Christ, and drawing attention to our bodies and especially the sexual parts of them is not accomplishing this purpose. It is unquestionable that yoga pants do just that, by outlining the entire bottom half of the female body, and I believe that this is why women should not wear them. Out of love for their Christian brothers/sisters, and out of love for Christ Himself, I hope Christians, both men and women, think long and deep about what message their clothes are sending and whether it is the face or a part of the body that they highlight, because what Christians wear DOES matter. Let us do everything to the honor of Christ.

    – A sister in Christ

  3. Thanks for sharing this, Krysti. I’ll burn all my tank tops ASAP.
    As a Grammar and spelling Nazi, I feel led to point out a typo in paragraph one. I believe the correct spelling is “aaannnd,” not “anddddd.”
    Blessings,
    Rick

  4. Pingback: Just a List of Complaints

  5. I was really hoping this article were serious, but unfortunately not. If women did or do feel this was – these would be great arguments (though worded here like satire). The fact is that men have and countinue to feel this way about women wearing (for example) a low cut dress. Men seem to be more visual, with women’s issues of purity more from what a men says and does then his attire.

    • Seriously. Even recognizing the satirical intent, the part about “the responsibility to think while getting dressed – think of every single female you might encounter today, think of their needs, think of how you can make their life easier. Don’t think for a second about you, your needs for the day, or your comfort; as Christians, we’re called to think of others, after all” section is a pretty solid argument. If it was made known to me that tank-tops, even in the gym (presumably more for some exercises than others), could create a stumbling block for women, I would stick with something similarly functional but less revealing. While not a cultural norm, it should be a Christian norm to let our own convenience and preferences, within reason, be set aside for the spiritual wellbeing of others.

  6. Next: men in 3 piece suits (swoon)! A girl just can’t handle that much eye candy and keep control! 😂
    Love the sarcasm girl. Keep it comin!

  7. I love satire and humor done well. I enjoyed the article, but a lot of the comments are sad, or even scary.

    One place I can think of where Jesus himself addresses the issue of a man’s looking/lusting is in the Sermon on the Mount. It’s pretty clear that he places the burden of responsibility on the man to control his eyes (and thoughts) and allows for NO excuse based on what the woman is wearing/not wearing. The fact that he immediately follows that warning with the admonition to deal so strongly with our OWN weak areas (e.g., pluck out your own eye/cut off your own hand if it causes you to sin) tells me that God holds each individual (male or female) responsible for averting his/her eyes. Right from the beginning of recorded history man has tried to blame woman for his sin. God has never accepted this.

    As Christians we’re called to live a life of selflessness and to look out for others’ interests—even over our own. Christ models that perfectly and He is our standard. Our standard is perfection, and we fall short (every day, every hour, every moment). But we can blame out parents for that, right? (<<hyperbole alert on that last sentence, ICYWW)

  8. Bravo, sister for addressing this distressing trend. A fantastic read full of real wisdom. Thank you for making me smile and giving me food for thought and standing up for reason.

  9. This is actually a super awful analogy to the yoga pants blogs you are making fun of. And making fun of guys struggles sounds like a super awesome thing to do too. Why does that seem cool to do? Would it be helpful to have guys making fun of struggles that you have as a female?

    • @ Inigo Montoya I agree! Mocking someone NEVER helps them solve their problem. Men should gently encourage women in areas they want to be better at, and women should gently encourage men in areas they want to be better at. But the author went for the easy joke at the expense of hurting the very men who are trying to be Godly. Yes, it is each guys’ responsibility to look at clean things and think clean thoughts. But women should ask themselves how they can HELP these men accomplish this, NOT say it is just the guys’ problem. That is not lifting up others in your world.

      • I am a guy, too – and I disagree with you. Women do not need to “help” me keep from lusting. It all has to do with the difference between lust and attraction.

        Christians especially are often confused about the difference between lust and attraction. The church is also confused. Attraction is natural and good. It is part of being a human being made in God’s image. Both men and women experience attraction whether single or married – and here is the kicker – feelings of attraction are not lust! Imagine that! A married man looks over at a gorgeous woman in a skimpy dress and finds her incredibly attractive and yet is not sinning one bit. Incredible! But also true.

        How is this possible, you say? Easy. You do not move mentally from appreciation (which is godly and good) to coveting (a desire to obtain something by ungodly means).

        I repeat: Coveting is the desire to obtain something by ungodly means. This is key to what I am saying.

        The church has been teaching boys for centuries that coveting simply means desire/attraction. Go ahead and put lust in that same boat, too. But that isn’t at all true – and the truth will set you free.

        I can prove it with a pure, godly example every guy can understand. Imagine this scenario. A single guy sees a beautiful, sexy and charming woman. She just looks fantastic and you see she is exuberant and glowing. You start thinking, “Wow. What an attractive woman. She gives me the chills. So shapely, graceful and beautiful.” And then you think, “I wish the very best for her and that God would bless her with a great husband and a wonderful family.”

        Now, say she meets you again and you have an opportunity to talk with her some, and those feelings of attraction are heightened – especially when she tells you she is interested in going out with you some time. You can hardly believe it! So now your thoughts go from appreciation to considering the possibility of being together in the future as even as a married couple. However, you stop and pray, “Lord, I put this woman and this possible relationship into Your hands. She is a daughter of heaven – Yours – and like You I want the best possible future for her. Please help me to see her with Your eyes and to only want what you desire in this relationship. You know I find her very attractive. I desire to treat her with respect and purity because she is precious to you and her family, too. Teach me to love her like you love her – and for me that means trusting You will either lead us together as a couple or You will make it clear that us being together is not what You want. Either way I want Your will to be done in this relationship, not mine. I respect that You may have other plans for her and I am fully on board with that possibility because I want what is best for her.”

        Now, say God leads the couple together and they vow to walk in purity before marriage and fall deeper into love for each other. They set healthy boundaries in their relationship and enjoy each other’s company immensely, getting to know each other and the families, praying together about their future, and then marry.

        In the above scenario did the man or woman ever sin? How about Lust? Coveting? Sexual Immorality?

        NO.

        You see, when attraction, appreciation and godly desire (godly desire does not equal lust/covetousness) are all in play, and the relationship is right in God’s eyes, then no sin is committed. Ever.

        Sin happens only when our desires do not line up with God’s desires. Another example. You see a gorgeous woman getting drunk at a party. She asks you to take her home because she can’t safely drive. On the way she begins removing her clothing and by the time you get to her apartment she is not very decent. With her inhibitions lowered she tells you to come in and stay with her. You are attracted to her and feel flattered.

        However, you again want what is best for this beautiful woman. You have her wait a moment and get a blanket out of the house to put around her. You then walk her gently inside, get her to her room, and make sure she is safe and comfortable. You then tell her because you respect her and her privacy you have to go. You leave.

        Again. No sin committed. ZERO.

        WHY? Because again the man in the above scenario knows what real love and true honor and respect is about. She didn’t need to “help him” not lust. The responsibility is on the man to not ever move into that realm (ungodly desire).

        Is this clear?

  10. also, it’s super funny how many people think this is a piece you wrote in ferverence and sincerity! maybe next time make a note at the end of your post saying this was a bit of a joke to make people think and realize some of the legalism and lack of grace that has settled into the Christian mindset.

  11. oh this is hysterical. thanks for the laugh, I love joke pieces like this. I mean of course it doesn’t represent godly or logical thought processes at all, but there are sadly many a person who are legalistic enough to take a thing like tank tops and turn them into an issue. Oh dear. XD

  12. I don’t know, the man with the bible is the hottest picture in this article, gets my heart a flutter ;). He is obviously hiding extremely buff arms in those long sleeves, tempting and teasing us with what is unseen.

  13. Yes, we are each responsible for ourselves. Sin is our own. As brothers and sisters, though, Romans 14:13 Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this—not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother’s way.
    (And in the Greek, brother’s way could be translated sibling’s way)
    We can only control ourselves, but we are not islands. We are part of a body, and we are responsible to and for one another. We are the body of Christ- let’s please encourage and edify one another.
    By the way, since we do live in a culture where so many people, male and female, dress pretty scantily, how much does it help you to have your siblings dress modestly? Or are you so bombarded with visual stimulus that it wouldn’t make a difference?

  14. What’s absolutely terrifying is that with some of these comments, I can’t tell which are serious and which are sarcastic because I’ve heard too many similar things said with complete sincerity.

  15. Some Christian men really try their best to have a holy thought life. And some Christian mean really do struggle with lust as a sin problem they try to fight. Whats the best way to come alongside these brothers as fellow followers of Christ to encourage them and help in the fight for holiness?… why to ridicule them and their struggles of course! Great article, well done.

    • Maybe its a problem for them because they believe its a problem. Maybe if they didn’t worry about it so much to begin with, it wouldn’t be. How on earth do doctors manage, seeing all those bits?

    • I think you’re missing one of the many points she’s making in this post. Well no, judging from your response, you’re definitely missing it. WOMEN “STRUGGLE”, TOO!!! WOMEN HAVE SEX DRIVES!! A man in a tank top causes some women to stumble, a man in a bathing suit makes many women immediately think of sex, too. Gosh, what is under that swim suit?!?! I think about it nearly every time an attractive man is in a swim suit. And the new trend with shorter swim suits for men? Lord, help me. She’s saying it’s not only about men! See the bigger picture, please!!! IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU! I’m certain she understands what you’re saying, but it’s not what the article is addressing. She’s pointing out the double standard. This idea that we’re supposed to feel sorry for you guys as you ask us to dress modestly, “oh, poor Christian men, they’re just so wrought with impure thoughts that I should not wear this tank top to protect them”. WE’RE STRUGGLING, TOO! If you’re serious about us protecting you, then you need to look in the mirror and put a shirt on.

  16. As I was reading this article and the comments, I wondered whether this message has to be satire. I know THAT it is satire, I know WHY it is satire. But if a struggling Christian woman who has an issue with visual stimulation and lustful temptation has a problem with men wearing tank tops/muscle shirts, can she say do? Can she request men in her social circle not to wear things she finds distracting in her pursuit of godliness? Or should she be publicly shamed and ridiculed for doing so?
    Look, I understand there are appropriate mediums and platforms to use to do such confession and exhortation. I’m not a fan of anybody – male or female – using the internet or other mass media to tell others how they should live THEIR lives in order to make MY life more comfortable. That’s something that’s regularly done in small relational circles, but is inappropriate when done in general settings. But this isn’t a gender issue. It’s not “men should be shamed” or “women should be coddled”. It’s a proprietary issue.
    Second, I thank the many commenters here who have “femsplained” that women can be just as visually stimulated as many men are. I’m not sure that this isn’t a straw man argument however. I don’t see many commenters saying “women just aren’t turned on by looks”. I do see people arguing with science that men’s brains and women’s brains are different. Deniers want to shut that out and femsplain how we’re all exactly alike, but science, history and experience have all shown otherwise. My wife of 15 years is extremely sexual, extremely visually stimulated, and can have lustful thoughts at the drop of a hat about a guy in a tank top, a guy in a speedo, a guy with a suit, a guy with no shirt on, etc. But she still doesn’t get how I often struggle to keep my mind pure when I see an overweight, unattractive woman walk by with large breasts heaving out of her blouse. Honestly, I don’t get it either. I can’t mansplain it to her. It’s something chemical in my brain which is different than hers. Oh precious snowflake, your own experience and self-understanding are worthy of immeasurable value. But science has shown (and the Bible can verify) that men and women are different, and that men struggle in different ways than women do.
    So… should I or my wife approach the unattractive woman and request that she wear something more appropriate for her body type? Absolutely not! The responsibility to keep my mind pure is MINE, not my wife’s, not the woman’s. But if we are close friends with a couple, and while hanging out my female friend removes her top layer, and I find myself getting distracted, awkward, and uncomfortable with her spaghetti strap, breast-enhancing, tight undergarment – should I keep silent, or can my wife (who loves me) discreetly say something to my friend (who loves me), in order to help me with my purity and conscience? That may or may not be appropriate, depending on the level of closeness. But let’s not shame others for their struggles, okay?

    • Dude, don’t get into a lather about a satirical article. Accept the authors point of view for what it is, see if it applies, and if not – move on. No need to chastise her for not understanding your intricate life and marriage.

    • Your wife should def not say anything to your friend, and neither should you. Your friend should not feel ashamed because you’re too busy sexualizing her to socialize with her- her body is not the problem.

      And you want to know why you’re getting flustered over “unattractive, overweight” women? Because you’ve been taught by society to process women’s bodies as smaller parts for your sexual pleasure- not as full human being, but just a collection of sexy bits. So when you see one of those bits, even if you find the other bits unattractive, you find yourself stimulated. I encourage you to look at the blog “The Headless Women of Hollywood” in order to recognize how women’s bodies are used as (often faceless) props in advertising and to acknowledge how dehumanizing it is. You could also check out the article “Our Brains See Men as Whole and Women as Parts” for further explanation.

      Recognize it. Then find ways to train your brain around it.

    • Yes!!! The comment has merit. I’m not responsible or accountable for anybody’s sin, choices, or struggles. I have my own to deal with and accept full responsibility for them. God will transform me as HE needs to and according to HIS will.

  17. Everyone fighting the opposite sex. This satire’s aim should have been fixed on what’s really messed up; the fact that scripture actually dictates what this article is frustrated about. Men are the “glory of God.” Women are “the glory of man” who should “learn with submissiveness, and ought not tempt men. People are angered when they are made to look contradictory so y’all argue and argue. This is what religion does, faith drives people apart. Consider instead the contradictory nature of the text you place your faith in. Don’t blame modern man, blame mankind’s competitive nature. Love each other and stop turning on each other to make yourself more comfortable with who you are in regards to what you believe. If there’s a God, division disappoints him and unity pleases him, simple as that.

    • Yeah, so this article isn’t for you, Just Steve. It’s aimed at people who actually believe the Bible is God’s word and should be obeyed.
      Since that obviously doesn’t include you, you’re definitely going to have trouble understanding why being modest, as the Bible commands, is an issue for discussion.

  18. Can we all agree that the Bible commands modest clothing for Christians?
    So if you’re not a Christian, you’re free to expose yourself to strangers.
    But back to Christians.
    I’m a man. I don’t wear tank-tops.
    But even if I did it wouldn’t be immodest.
    Tank-tops show… shoulders? Arms?
    Yoga pants show the outline of the vulva, the external female sexual organs.
    The equivalent of wearing yoga pants would be wearing thin swimming briefs that showed the outline of the male sexual organs.
    I don’t do that.
    But this satire is an apples-to-oranges comparison, and therefore inapt, inaccurate, and basically poor writing.
    Unless, of course, you just want some kind of justification to go out and flaunt your body. In that case, you’ll find it quite satisfying.
    But then don’t complain when you have trouble attracting good Christian men.

    • I found this article very refreshing and funny! I’m a happily married (35 years) woman of 58, and I think she did a wonderful job satirizing what women put up with from a lot of men (mostly Christian, but also other faiths as well) about our choice of clothing. Just give it a thought! I love Jesus, and have been a follower of Jesus for 40 years now, and I am convinced that any sin we commit is on us and we have no business blaming someone else. So if your thoughts turn to something that doesn’t please God, then that’s between you and Him. He is in the business of transforming our minds, but it does take time, and lots of practice.

    • “Yoga pants show the outline of the vulva” – definitely would not agree with that statement, but regardless you could compare that then to REGULAR swimming briefs worn by men showing the outline of the penis…(worn by lots of men and often still revealing when made of thicker material). Regardless, there is no biblical foundation that dressing modestly is the “cure” for lust. Rather, the bible holds the individual with lustful thoughts accountable, not the immodest dresser. If good Christian men are so prone to noticing the ‘outline of the vulva’, and not taking responsibility for their lustful thoughts, as the bible insists: Mathew 5:27-28
      You have heard that it was said, ‘you shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
      I think I’ll pass on men like that! Yoga pants are a practical attire for exercising. If you have a problem with this, I would probably avoid gyms, parks, and beaches.

  19. This is funny. The author lives in an alternate universe where men get pregnant, women are super stoked to pay for dates, men save their money while women pay their bills working gruelling hours for no thanks. Male bartenders wear skimpy clothes to get better tips. Oh yeah–and brides wear tuxes while the groom wears a white lace dress. Oh, my gf wants to take me out for dinner, again, like 9 times out of ten she’s paying the bill. Well, I’ll pay for coffee, she’ll pay at the restaurant. Kind of equal. Kind of. Close enough. I’m not complaining, she loves me. Loving women always take care of their man. Did I mention she’s got a bush and I wax? Time to breastfeed our baby. Nothing like bonding with baby with father’s milk. Also, I hate it when just because a girl has spent hundreds of dollars on me she thinks I’m gonna spend the night with her. I’m not a fricking gigolo! As well, I mustn’t leave out the fact that I get paid to have pictures of my bum in swimsuit calendars. Me and my guy friends like to discuss the looks of other men and gossip about celebrities constantly.

  20. This is funny. The author lives in an alternate universe where men get pregnant, women are super stoked to pay for dates, men save their money while women pay their bills working gruelling hours for no thanks. Male bartenders wear skimpy clothes to get better tips. Oh yeah–and brides wear tuxes while the groom wears a white lace dress. Oh, my gf wants to take me out for dinner, again, like 9 times out of ten she’s paying the bill. Well, I’ll pay for coffee, she’ll pay at the restaurant. Kind of equal. Kind of. Close enough. I’m not complaining, she loves me. Loving women always take care of their man. Did I mention she’s got a bush and I wax? Time to breastfeed our baby. Nothing like bonding with baby with father’s milk. Also, I hate it when just because a girl has spent hundreds of dollars on me she thinks I’m gonna spend the night with her. I’m not a fricking gigolo! As well, I mustn’t leave out the fact that I get paid to have pictures of my bum in swimsuit calendars.

  21. One of two things I wanted to add to some of the other comments I’ve left on this page…
    Is that a lot of Christian males like to object to this topic (even when done as satire) by saying that God designed men to have a greater sex drive or God designed women to be visually wired, so pages such as this one do not apply to the situation.

    Both assumptions by these sorts of men are false. Most of the guys promoting these view points would probably say they are “sola scriptura,” or at least that they “believe in the Bible.”

    However, neither view they advocate (that men have a bigger libido or are more visually stimulated) is supported in the Bible – there is no verse stating,
    “And God said, ‘Let us create men to be visually wired with a greater sex drive than woman.’”

    And yet, many Christian men continue to act as though there is a Bible verse which reads as such. But there is none.

    There is actually a woman in the book of Genesis who is mentioned to have noticed that Joseph was “handsome” or “pleasing in form” and wanted to sleep with the guy, even though she was married to someone else!

    So, we have the Bible on record nothing that a woman was visually stimulated, hello. I have no idea if Joseph in the book of Genesis was wearing a tank top or a loin cloth or what.

    There are women (such as myself) who are very visually stimulated.

    I have my own blog, where one category of topic I regularly blog about are sexless marriages.

    And in the majority of news articles, advice columns, and blog posts I see about the subject of sexless marriage, the comments and questions are by married women (some who are Christian, by the way) who enjoy sex and want to have sex more often, but their husbands refuse!

    If it were true that all men have higher sex drives than all or most women, why oh why would I keep seeing married women complain they want more sex but their husband has no interest, they husband has no libido?

    And in some of these articles I see, if the husband comments, he’ll say that his wife is not a problem – he still finds her attractive. The problem is, some of these guys say, they just don’t feel like having sex.

    If it were true that women were not wired for sex or didn’t like it as much as men did, I don’t think I’d expect to see as many women write to advice columnists as I do complaining about how they want to have sex more often, but their husband continually turns them down.

    • I wrote: “God designed women to be visually wired”
      I meant, “God designed MEN to be visually wired”

      I wrote: “One of two things”
      I meant, “One OR two things”

      I wrote: “So, we have the Bible on record nothing that a woman”
      I meant, “So, we have the Bible on record NOTING that a woman”

      I wrote: “they husband has no libido?”
      I meant: “THE husband has no libido?”

      Sorry for the typos.

    • To respond in brief, simple because penis sola scripture doesn’t mean that everything a person believes needs to be founded in scritpure. Sola scripture applies to theology not science and other areas of life. For example, no one would object to the statement that men are stronger than women except to point out an exception. Science demonstrated that men are generally stronger. But there is no verse that says “let us make man stronger.” Also, you point to women who are denied sex by their husbands. Again, you are pointing to an exception. There are women who are stronger than men, but that doesn’t prove that men and women are generally of equal strength.

      I personally am having trouble decidng how best to live out modesty in my own life. I only provide you the feedback to encourage you to avoid strawmans and such when you are reasoning.

      • Actually, not the exception. Read “Everybody Lies” — its a book, has a elephant painted like a zebra on the cover. The author searches google metadata for patterns. women are more likely to google “sexless marriage” or “sexless relationship” than men.

  22. Dear Mrs. Wilkinson,
    Although your article may have been meant as satire I endorse it! As a Christian man, that follows apostolic pentacostal theology I believe the idea of modesty in the bible is throughly discussed in both the old and new testament. My particular theology encourages men not to wear shorts or tank tops and or tight fiting revealing clothes. Yes many of these clothes for men have become societal norms but we do not follow society in our faith but the teachings of Jesus and his disciples as well as what the Holy Spirit reveals to each man as to what modesty is. As one draws closer to God man or woman one will hopefully choose the path of being more modest rather than less but in the end this is a choice each christian must make. Traditionally pentacostals also draw on New Testament teaching on shoring of the hair for women, obviously not a clothing issue, encouraging women to leave their hair long for two biblical reasons. One a womans hair is seen be God as her glory or covering and two God does not want confusion between the sexes. There is no space here for a theological discussion but suffice it to say both men and women should apply modesty in dress as the Holy Spirit leads. Just because certain ways of dressing, like men wearing skirts, yes men, or tights, makeup which was original in purpose to make make a woman appear more sexually enticing, excessive or exspensive jewelry on both men or women which creates jealousy of wealth or acts an expression of pridefulness. God does not want to purposefully restrict how we dress and what we do to our bodies but he expects us to respond to the Holy Spirits leading and biblical teaching and not societal norms when we make our choices. Respectfully, God Bless.

  23. I get the satire and have seen a few articles by female Christian writers on this the last few years, but it still seems to gloss over two facts, one biological and one biblical. If you were a male, you’d know that from about age 12 on up, the massive load of testosterone that starts pulsing through your body is a totally different issue compared to females. What females wear, especially in the teen to 20-something years, DOES make a FAR more profound difference in thought patterns to immediate physical arousal results (and I think you know what I’m referring to) than in women. That’s just a fact. And that lessens as men get older. Is it an excuse for sexual sin/treating women like meat or merchandise, and groping/assaults,etc? Of course not. But does the way you dress matter from a biblical standpoint, as far as being a possible stumbling block (and yes, it applies for the way men dress, too, when you take it to a certain extreme, far beyond tank tops)? I think you’d have to say yes, but only IF you care about walking in the spirit as opposed to the flesh. I know this will fall on deaf ears to most readers, even in the church, these days. But even if you don’t care about biblical things or God, ask yourself, are women being treated better these days in high school and college atmospheres as they throw caution to the wind, or worse? As the number of sexual assaults has risen over the last couple of decades, I’d want to do whatever possible to discourage the scumbags and predators out there from targeting me if I were a women. Just don’t be naive. Predators don’t care about personal freedoms. They take advantage of them.

    • Go back to biology class, Bill. Women have sex drives. Women fantasize. Who do you think Amazon sells all those vibrators to? Women just don’t usually have the physical strength/social power that enables them to get away with taking what they want. They are also a bot more subtle. Trust me, if you walk into a room full of women, you have been checked out and assessed within the first three minutes. We’re just a bit more subtle at it than the male species.

    • This phrase, right here: ” If you were a male, you’d know”. That’s called mansplaining. You may have heard the term. Having an erection (yes, we do know ‘what you are referring to’) is, as I said, less subtle than female reactions. It does not, however, mean you have any more lustful thoughts than females of the species, nor does it mean you need more help or understanding from said females to control your own reactions to those lustful thoughts.

    • “As the number of sexual assaults has risen over the last couple of decades, I’d want to do whatever possible to discourage the scumbags and predators out there from targeting me if I were a women”.

      Respectfully, and I don’t want to put words in anyone’s mouth here, but it seems like part of the point of satire like this is holding up a mirror to all of the men who are contributing to an environment where women’s bodies are controlled by men and their agency is limited, all under the guise of “protecting” women. That’s an environment where the predators among men absolutely thrive. Maybe it’s time to start listening.

    • Wow, Bill, you managed to be sexist and ageist in the same post.

      Bill said, “What females wear, especially in the teen to 20-something years”

      Oh, but women stop being alluring and attractive at ages 30 and up. We are like milk and have expiration dates, I see.

      I am a visually attuned woman, and my surging estrogen means I get turned on by men – especially fit ones – when they are in not just tanks, but a well cut suit, swim trunks, shorts, t-shirts, or jeans.

      Stop being a stumbling block to women, Bill!

      • He was talking about males in their teens to 20s, not females. Young men could not care less the age of the woman in yoga pants if she is in any kind of decent shape.

    • I am shocked by the scientifically out-of-date and theologically ignorant responses by some men in this thread. Your theology reeks of outdated fake biology and ignorant biblical interpretation. Meanwhile the world continues to evolve around you and your self-centered, cultish views on faith make Christianity a laughing stock. Time to grow up men and smell the theological grounding in healthy sexuality, scientific fact-based understanding of the spectrum of sexual identity, gender, and a Christian theological praxis based in Grace-based biblical interpretation.
      In other words, it’s time to grow up and grow out of shame-based biblical literalism and use your God-given brain to integrate the complexities of modern life with rigorous scholarly and scientific methods of biblical interpretation. Grow up and smell the Grace.

    • The differences between male anatomy and female anatomy mean that it is more blatantly obvious when teenaged men and boys are aroused. There is much less obvious physical indication when women are aroused. Please don’t confuse visual cues with emotional cues. Remember sir, that we judge by what we see, but God judges the heart.

      Furthermore, men do not have control over the way a woman dresses, but do have control over where their eyes linger and where their thoughts go. Therefore, maybe men should practice exerting control where they have it most abundantly and stop blame-shifting women for their lack of control.

    • Bill, Are we still blaming woman for being attacked? As in, “She asked for it. Look how she’s dressed.”? Scumbags and predators don’t target a woman because she’s dressed provocatively!!! Scumbags and predators attack because they’re scumbags and predators. Geez! We still have such a long way to go.

    • You do know that old women get raped? And Nuns? and that is isn’t likely that the number has gone up, but that reporting is more encouraged?

  24. I just…I don’t know about that final picture. I mean, flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up? That’s pretty hot. A plain blue button-down would be much better (although the massive Bible in hand, as if you are about to reference the appropriate scripture at any moment, does help).

  25. I loved this! Thanks so much for making me laugh! Keep highlighting the double standard until more people see how ridiculous it all is! :- )

    • There are two standards (a double standard) because men and women are made differently. Men are visibly stimulated on a level that almost no women understand. I remember hearing an episode of NPR’s This American Life in which a woman was taking hormones in an effort to transition to a male. One of the things she said happened when she took testosterone was that she became incredibly visually stimulated. She told a story of when she (a lesbian) passed an attractive woman on the street. She said that she always thought men were pigs for staring at women on the street but despite her moral convictions, she found herself turning around to watch the woman walk past. She simply took the testosterone that every man has running through our veins and suddenly she became the sort of person that most women find so objectionable (glaring at women sexually).

      I promise you that more women would be attracted to the same man wearing a suit than a tank top. Men find women attractive when they wear less clothes. Often, less clothes attracts less women not more. So, yes, there is a double standard. The bible acknowledges this and so does simple genetics. Men have insane chemicals running through our veins. Women have no idea.

      • Wow. Thanks for mansplaining instead of trying to see someone else’s viewpoint. All you did here was prove the author’s point. So thanks for that too.

      • Oh no, WSV. As I just told Bill above,
        “I am a visually attuned woman, and my surging estrogen means I get turned on by men – especially fit ones – when they are in not just tanks, but a well cut suit, swim trunks, shorts, t-shirts, or jeans.”

        Women get visually stimulated as well. You might need to hit the gym more, work out, get in shape, so you can get more dates (if you’re a single guy).

        I am convinced that one reason a lot of Christian men who are into defending this modesty garbage for women (and it is usually men but occasionally women) is they like living in this fantasy where they think they can be balding, unattractive, missing teeth, have a beer gut, and that’s just fine, because women are not “wired by God” to care about a man’s look – only his “spirituality.”

        LOL. No. Women care about what men look like – you just won’t hear this fact in conservative or complementarian churches and circles.

        I think a lot of Christian men live in the same bubble that secular, entitled men do: they think just being a man, or having money, is enough to land a hottie. They think they can be unattractive schlubs…

        But they’re all deserving of a Sports Illustrated swim suit model, and they can get one. There might be a few gold-digging pretty women who will go after a Mr. Money Bags no matter how unattractive he is, but the majority of us women, a big NOPE!

        You men have no idea, because your complementarian male pastors keep feeding you this sexist stereotyped garbage that men care about sex and looks, but women only care about kittens, rainbows, and love poetry.

        So, we women get the Christian sermons, booklets, podcasts telling us to stay thin and pretty for men, while you guys just get told to remember that your wives are “emotional and want security.”

        These male pastors never acknowledge that hetero women do in fact appreciate Mr. Tall Dark And Handsome who has a full head of hair, flat abs, and broad shoulders.

        Your pastors are doing you a dis-service. They are lulling you into thinking all to most women have no libido and that women do not care about if a man is good-looking or not – but we do have a sex drive, and most of us do care about what a guy looks like.

        • ChristianPundit,

          //Women get visually stimulated as well. You might need to hit the gym more, work out, get in shape, so you can get more dates (if you’re a single guy).//

          In geneneral they do not though. Science supports this. Google “The Triggers of Sexual Desire: Men vs. Women” and you will see a Psychology Today article on the subject. Men’s brains and women’s brains are not the same when it comes to sexual arousal.

          Not sure what all the Swimsuit Issue talk was about (I never said anything about that) so I will not respond to that part of your comment.

  26. Most of the articles that I have read on this topic recently seem to carry a similar attitude.
    – I want to dress, do, say, etc what I want so I don’t want any feedback that does not agree with what I am already doing –
    The satire is creative in the way it points out double-standards but then what? Agree and do nothing? get naked? Be quiet?

  27. YOu obviously have a weak mind and need to have sex with your husband more. Or need to pray for a pure mind. Women don’t think about sex that much. It’s abnormal. If you had a boyfriend you probably would have pure thoughts because you would be faithful.

    • @ Tra said,
      “You obviously have a weak mind and need to have sex with your husband more. Or need to pray for a pure mind. Women don’t think about sex that much. It’s abnormal.”

      Why is a woman wanting to have sex or being visually oriented “abnormal.” The Bible does not anywhere condemn women having sex drives or being turned on by good looking men, so where are you getting your ideas from?

      I have a sex drive, but as I discuss on my blog, I am over 40, have never married (tho I was engaged at one point), and I’m still a virgin. I’m not having sex, but I still get turned on by seeing a good-looking man. There’s nothing abnormal or tawdry about it.

      If women didn’t enjoy sex as much as men and didn’t feel desire, the human race would’ve pretty much died out centuries ago.

      This idea of which biological sex wants sex more is a cultural-based one.

      Have you ever read this page:

      “When Women Wanted Sex Much More Than Men = And how the stereotype flipped.”
      http://www.alternet.org/when-women-wanted-sex-much-more-men?page=0%2C2&paging=off&current_page=1#bookmark

    • People who do not recognize satire should not go around calling other minds weak. If you’d like to talk about praying for something, it might be better understanding, or knowing how to guard your heart from sexism. Women think about sex just as much as men, we just didn’t grow up with culture telling us it was normal (which it is) or telling us that our actions have no consequences (like it does for boys). Women are just as sexual as men. Drop the double standard.

  28. I think we guys should also consider covering our ankles. I’ve been showing off my ankles all summer long secretly enjoying watching women try to avert their stare and glances… But I repent.

  29. I’m 54, married for 30 years. I like men in tank tops. What’s the big deal? The human body is amazing and beautiful. If you’ve got it flaunt it. I’m a Christian, people can control their lusts, we’re not a bunch of animals. I say grow up, do what’s comfortable for you within reason of course and let others do the same without being so judgemental. Fads cone and go. If its not tank tops and yoga pants it will be something else. Find a higher purpose to focus your energy on. you’ll be happier too. I thought the article was dumb in case you missed that.

    • It’s not only satire. It also is pointing out the hypocrisy of blaming women who wear skimpy clothes for a man’s ‘fall’, while ignoring the fact that men feel they can wear what they want. Don’t show your shoulders lady. They’re too exciting to a man and he has no responsibility to keep his thoughts pure. Keep your knees covered. Keep your hair long (no matter the climate) because someone in the Bible said so. Such hypocrisy needs to be called out. You’re right, a lady, wear what’s comfortable, but are you responsible for someone else’s thoughts? I don’t think so.

  30. Krysti, may I offer a unique perspective on this that you most likely won’t get from other comments? I personally deal with same-sex attractions. I don’t like to use the term “gay”, as it is an identity and it would sound like I am living that life. Since I am attracted to other guys instead of females, I of course have to deal with lusting after other guys, and fighting that. To be bluntly honest, a nice looking guy in good shape with a muscle shirt/tank top on is a big temptation to lust. My eyes are drawn to a guys upper arms. I never wear those myself, and never understood why Christian guys would want to bare their whole arm and underarm….or worse, go shirtless. Modesty isn’t just for women. Temptation to look at a lot of skin revealed on a man can be a temptation to women also, and also to guys like me who are struggling with a very difficult issue. You nailed it on this post. Amen, sister

      • It doesn’t sound like he’s in a closet, so much as he is pretty much open, online at least, with that aspect of his fallen human state, and I commend him for what appears to be a commitment to honor God rather than satisfy his own desires, especially when the world has become a place so accepting of that form of sin.

    • A very thoughtful and informed reply. Please see my comment above. Please remember to see yourself beyond mans labels. You are a man of God seeking his only his love and acceptance. We all deal with sexual temptation because we all have fallen natures and homosexual temptations are no different from hetersexual temptations. They are all the same in Gods eyes even if the Church treats them differently. God Bless you!

  31. Taking this logic to the extreme, why do men and women have to wear clothes at all? And if it isn’t appropriate for people to go around completely without clothes, where is the line where appropriateness is crossed? And who decides where this line is?

    Ladies, if a man walks in completely naked, your arousal would only be one issue. Safety, sanitation, shock, along with other reactions would also be in order. So if this is true of a naked or less than fully dressed man, wouldn’t you agree that the same questions arise with a naked or less than fully dressed woman?

    Or should we go the politically correct route and say it is all the viewers problem and not the person who is choosing what to wear? Theory and self-righteous attitudes are easy when they support your position, but real world scenarios often play out differently.

    • No.

      The problem isn’t “beong aroused” the problem is “acting out” and then blaming a woman for “dressing that way.”

      Men and women should be allowed to be naked.

      And men and women would be aroused by each other (or the same sex).

      But the problem is men acting out and saying “if she didn’t want attention, she should be more modest.” That’s the problem.

      When the news reports of mass women groping men,then you have a point.

  32. Thank you so much for bringing more attention to this subject. I find it interesting how often modesty is seen as an issue ‘only’ for women. What’s with the double standard?

  33. Krysti, this was hilarious! I’m so tired of men trying to pass their own issues of on women and blaming it on how “men are just more visual than women.” Last time I checked men and women, on average, are born with the same number of eyes…

  34. I get that people may not agree with yoga pants lady and her view on modesty, but I don’t understand the mockery. I understand why the world might mock her, but I don’t understand why Christians would mock her.

    • Hey Nathan,

      I’m not quite sure who “yoga pants lady” is, but I’m curious as to why you feel this crossed the line of satire into mockery.

      • I had to look her up…I only knew there was a blogger that went viral a few years ago. Veronica Partridge is her name, but I’m sure there are all sorts of blog posts now about yoga pants. https://goo.gl/ABuf6b

        Satire might be a better word, but when a Christian woman who believes she has some responsibility to dress modestly reads this, I think the overwhelming feeling she’ll have is ridicule. Trying to equate a woman’s reaction to men in tank tops with a man’s reaction to women in yoga pants ignores the fact that men are MUCH more visual. Men are stimulated visually in a way that is probably really hard for a woman to understand. It explains why we struggle with pornography so much more than women.

        There’s a good opportunity here to discuss the difference between men and women, and how we can better understand each other. Maybe we can team up. 🙂

        • The notion that men are stimulated visually “in a way that is probably really hard for a woman to understand” is a questionable notion at best, and reduces sexual attraction to inaccurate gender roles rooted in essentialism rather than reality. I suspect that men have just as little understanding of how women are stimulated as you claim women have when it comes to visual stimulation.

          But, if you want to stick to that argument, I’ll remind you that there are gay Christian men out there. If men are sooooo stimulated visually, surely you wouldn’t want them to be tempted to stumble by seeing other men in tank tops? Right?

          Or possibly, we could all take responsibility for our own actions and reactions, and find ways to handle our attraction that don’t enforce modesty codes upon others, nor otherwise reduce others to sexual objects.

          • YES. Why the endless harping on men being visually stimulated?? I am a woman and I AM VISUALLY STIMULATED. And I ‘m not an outlier. Sheesh.

        • My ex asked me to cover my shoulders at church on a hot day with a dress that went to my knees and covered my collarbone. Sure this came from love but what makes him think he can tell me what to do with my body? And why does he thank me for dressing modestly like it is a semi-sexual packsge in a mystery box just for him?

          We both had issues with porn. I made a much quicker recovery than he and we made our entertainment choices based on his needs.
          But what made him choose porn in the first place? Probably like me he was neglected and bored.

          I have seen girls salvate like dogs at swimming parties when boys show up without a shirt. Worse yet they judge those who are not “in shape.” Sound familiar? We’re much more similar than you beleive. Except there has been a cultural indoctination that somehow men need special treatment when it comes to modesty and they have an unspoken right to a womens body. Its paradoxical when you look at the “christian america” values of fidelity and i think this is why we see so much pounding on women about dress and men have to justify the entitlement culture by telling girls that they are somehow an obeject that can be stolen and they must protect themselves. Yes men have image issues and a recent pandemic of being denied respect. But this modesty issue has hostorically been one sided. This is what the satire is trying to point out.

          Your dress choices should reflect YOU. It is between you and god and everyone else can shut it. This goes for both genders. If your choice includes thinking of others then coodos but everyone needs to check themselves for how they are obejctifying and judging others.

        • Unfortunately, the way the comments and replies appear on this page make it seem like my first reply agreed with something I don’t agree with, so I want to make this clear.

          I get the feminist perspective that leads women say they only want to be treated like men, which has led to the thought in this article that men should be treated like women. It’s only fair, right?

          Sure, it’s fair – when judged by the world. But it seems to me that it is foolish when judged by the Bible. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that man and woman are the same, and all through scripture are examples of how man and woman are to be treated differently. If you have a problem with that, talk to God. He’s the only one who can explain it.

          Should Christian men have asked Christian women to refrain from wearing yoga pants because of their struggle with controlling where their thoughts go? I don’t know. What I do know is that to mock them for it by writing an article like this is wrong. Not wrong when judged by the world, but wrong when judged by the Bible. See Luke 17:1-4, Romans 14, Mark 9:42, 1 Cor 13. Whereas the articles written by men were calls for help, written in love and concern, this article is only mockery, no love, no compassion.

          So no, I’m not entertained or amused or impressed by this article. If you want to exhort men to godliness by reminding them of what scripture says about lust and thoughts and so on, fine. Pray, quote relevant scripture, and type. But please don’t wrap your disdain for your Christian brothers’ calls for help in a shroud of satire and expect other Christian women to appreciate it.

          To the Christian men out there: This woman does not speak for all Christian women. There are plenty of us out there who understand that God made men and women different, and we do not expect you to act like women the way feminists do.

          • Get off your high-horse! I’m a Christian, but I also have a sense of humor and appreciate satire.

          • @ Laura who said,
            “I get the feminist perspective that leads women say they only want to be treated like men, which has led to the thought in this article that men should be treated like women. It’s only fair, right?”

            Laura, that is not what feminists believe. (I am not a feminist, btw.) I don’t know if you are being intentionally obtuse about what they believe or what, but feminists are not saying that men “want to be treated like women” or vice versa.

          • For some reason, the reply buttons are disabled on your comments, so bear with me.

            @Melody – There is no higher horse than the one Krysti Wilkinson is riding when she speaks to Christian men like she does in this article. I appreciate good satire, but this is just pettiness and ugliness.

            sat·ire
            [ˈsaˌtī(ə)r]
            NOUN
            the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.
            synonyms: mockery · ridicule · derision · scorn · caricature · irony · sarcasm

            Note the synonyms for satire. Please, show me in scripture where Jesus used any of these devices to address a struggling believer to rebuke him in his struggles.

            @christianpundit – First, I didn’t say that feminists believe that men should be treated like women, but that the author of this piece is advocating that men be treated like women. Second, if you read feminist literature, you will find that it is a common theme that feminists do want men to experience life the way women experience life, and the only way to do that is for men to be treated like women.

          • Thank you, Laura. You said it so much better than I could have.

            To mock men who are trying their best at being godly and follow what God commands in the Bible helps neither those men nor society as a whole.

        • “Men are more visual.” Now I’ve heard it all. Great blog! Satire gives us a voice and satiric “mockery” bruises only those who abuse the power of the status quo. If the shoe fits, you know?

  35. Thank you for helping me be a better man, a man that does not cause women to sin.
    But, what about my new speedo? Does that mean I can’t wear it to the beach? Ever?
    .
    .
    .
    ..
    .
    .
    😉

      • You may believe your response is witty–but it’s actually really good advice. If people would just shut up for a minute and actually read their Bibles and pray for understanding from God, I promise you, He will reveal exactly how He feels people should live their lives. But fair warning, He’s probably going to check ya!
        (Oh and on a side-note–God is a man, does that mean he doesn’t understand and we shouldn’t listen to Him?)

        • @ A woman sick of feminism! Thank you! Instead of people — men and women — being so worried about how Biblical recommendations cramp their style, they should instead think about how their actions and decisions can benefit everyone. If someone says, “I don’t care if someone has a problem with what I’m wearing, I’m going to wear it anyway,” then selfishness and being self-absorbed might be something that person should look into.

  36. Krysti, you are such a bright and witty young lady who knows exactly how to tackle the ridiculous mentality in our Christian culture. Appreciate this post so much. Keep writing!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *